For the ladies

Please be aware this post contains the age old subject of  ‘Ladies Problems’

As a lady of a certain age I’ve started the new chapter of life knowns as ‘The Change’ which always concerned me as a child as I often wondered what the hell I would change into

I say this to myself approximately 10 ties a day....I've also been known to wake Beloved during the night just to inform him of my current  status
Image downloaded from the tinternet       I say this to myself approximately 10 times a day….I’ve also been known to wake Beloved during the night just to inform him of my current status

During a coffee break at ‘The Workplace’ us ladies were discussing the pros & cons of medical verses natural treatments for said ….’.transformation from normal rational human being into psycho, tetchy, don’t even go there mature lady’ when someone mentioned a Lady Magnet ????

Now I'm not sure about this product at all.... I mean seriously .....is this really a cure 'The Change'
Now I’m not sure about this at all…. I mean seriously …..is this really a positive product in combating  ‘The Change’

I can see this leading me into a traumatic situation, I have visions of walking through a salubrious restaurant the magnet discreetly worn in my underwear as per instructions and cutlery skidding from it’s resting place on the table and hurtling through the air only to attach to my nether regions, or even worse what if there is a lady who is partial to wearing vast quantities of jewellery is sat within my vicinity …. my goodness the last thing I need when I’m embarking on a hot flush is to have a woman  being drawn into the gravitational field of my knickers …..and the result being posted on youtube. What if the magnet detached itself from my bloomers and fell to the floor, would I be best ignoring it? or should I kick it under the nearest table? then what if some gentleman picked it up and came running after me holding the offensive object aloft screeching ‘Dearie is this yours?’ OMG what if he thought it was some sexual enhancing product

Nah I'll just carry on as normal
Nah I don’t think the magnet is for me…. I’ll just carry on as normal

 

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10 thoughts on “For the ladies

  1. First off – Welcome to the CLUB! And, also for explaining about the whereabouts you place this ”unknown to me” ‘implement’ – as I laid eyes on it I did wonder!!!!???? Thank goodness it comes with instructions… otherwise…well anyway….

    Secondly, you did say you woke Beloved!..I did wonder? If this was on purpose to tell him the current situation…or, by the fact that you are wafting the bed linen wildly to get some draughty relief?

    I can see two advantages of this ‘thingy’!
    1) All metallic, attracted goods can be weighed in…and naturally, the income spent of desirables!
    2) Alternatively, with a wild hurling technique, of course only available to those, like ourselves, in this stage of life, with psychotic tenancies, ‘said implement’ could be used…to add to the current count of the dead body trail!

    All said and done, it could be worth giving it a trial run – do let me know what the outcome is! I might be willing to invest 🙂

    Thirdly, I don’t think I have ever laughed to myself so much on any other post I have read so far….or ever will!

    LOL! Many, many times!

  2. Many thanks for welcoming me into your elite club, my what fun. When a work colleague mentioned this product I have to admit I did think she was having a laugh as I have a tendency to appear gullible, I googled it and lo & behold it is a real alternative in the fight of my psychotic tendencies, of course I awake Beloved as I want to share the good news as sometimes he tries to sleep through the double arm sheet waft, during the first night time episode the poor man thought I was either partaking in a medical emergency or trying to save our souls in a battle with a epic sized spider, now he just tuts, sighs & hangs on to his half of the linen while not making body contact in case of spontaneous combustion. I hadn’t got as far as wondering what I would do with all the metal that the magnet may attract, weighing it in to create a second income is a fabulous idea. I’m tempted to let my colleague do the initial trail run, as I’m the hair dressers next week and am concerned that the use of her scissors may incur an added cost of a ‘Brazilian’ makeover

    1. Why thank you, I do like an antic, I just have visions of said contraption leading me astray… can you blog from a prison cell ??????????

  3. LOL!!! Thanks Roma! I had a great laugh with this post! Never heard about the magnet, and I agree I don’t think it would have been helpful to me either. I have found that fans are a wonderful thing to park in front of during these encounters. I thought maybe I had been getting past the hot flash stage since I am in my late 50s, but NOOOO! I am still there at times. Hang in there.

    1. These episodes are such a joy aren’t they, fortunately I’m not of the type to go bright red in the face and growl at folks as they pass me by in the street, I merely retain my poise and soldier on regardless, but I have been known to linger around fan displays at the nearest department store

      1. You are lucky! turn red in the face at the drop of a hat! Let alone when I have a hot flash. Usually my family and close friends get a little snarl. Poor Hubby probably got the worst of it though. He got to know when I wasn’t going to cook. It was either go out to eat or he cooked. Good thing he is a good cook. Sometimes even likes to cook.

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