A Winner And Sickness Etiquette

The lucky winner of the bright red crochet bag and primitive folk art rabbit

Congratulations Kate
Congratulations Kate

is …. Kate at Kateclippings   if you could be so kind to e-mail me your address, and I’ll get it posted to you

This time of year at ‘The Workplace’ is when colds / flu / norovirus and chest infections rise their ugly head, before long the staff take a hit, normally I either forgo the diseases or am the last to succumb .. this year I thought I’d take the opportunity to get in there early 😦

Obviously for this blog post we will all pretend I look like the one of the left OK
Obviously for this blog post we will all pretend I look like the one of the left OK

Now not many folks are aware there is an etiquette to illness let me explain

At the first sign of any illness take the bull by the horns and stock up on tissues, cough medicine, cold, flu pills or anything else that you will be requiring, take said medication then drape yourself on the sofa, this is the time you need to decide on which cult 70 -80’s TV show you will watch back to back – I’m undecided between The Love Boat and Fantasy Island both of which would normally never see the light of day on my viewing schedule

Take care only to sleep fitfully during the night, include lots of tossing, turning, deep sighing and add the occasional cough if you deem this to be appropriate, this will prompt  your nearest and dearest to put you out of your misery, on a cautionary note the judge will possibly take your partners pledge of not guilty, at which point your Beloved will be living it up on the insurance payout.

After hardly eating for a couple of days now is the time to have cravings for either soup or mash and gravy, after your loved ones has created your meal have 2 spoonfuls before declaring you are full and can eat no more, it is also perfectly normal to fancy something you don’t particularly like, when you try said food you realise you still don’t like it

The day before you fall ill make sure you buy something on-line that is just a smidgen too large to fit through the letterbox, that way you can drag yourself from your pit to answer the door to the Postie, you can answer the door clad in pj bottoms, a hoodie, socks, and fluffy dressing gown, a scarf is optional depending on how cold you feel OR if you are having a hot sweat you have the choice of a second outfit which will be a pair of socks, old lady pants, and vest top – a stain from your 2 spoonfuls of option at lunch is mandatory

The husky voice you are now the proud owner of .. you know that one you are wondering if you could take a job as a 0800 ‘Lady Of The Night’ call line operative isn’t as sexy as you imagine it to be – you actually sound like a 90 yr old sucking a lemon

Time you illness to coincide with your days off so as not to inconvenience anyone, that way you can look forward to your long stretch at ‘The Workplace’ safe in the knowledge that you have the housework to catch up on and it will be probably cold – raining the next time you are off

Follows these simple rules and your few days of fly by … at this moment in time I’m at the first stage, oh I have also have the foresight to place my on-line order, I’m popping pills in the attempt to ward off the inconvenient lurrgy

 

 

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44 thoughts on “A Winner And Sickness Etiquette

  1. Congrats Kate :o) many thanks for that perfect instruction… I sadly look more like the one on the right picture :o( but fortunately our tv-station has a heart and surprised me with a Columbo marathon :o)

  2. Hope you feel better. Warm water with lemon and ginger grated in with optional honey helps. I wish I thought of that during the week for my sore throat and cold but I never did. You don’t really think when you don’t feel yourself. Hahaha! I love the buying something online bit. I will do that the next time I get a cold. I still have my cough and cold now so I think I should take your advise. 🙂 Feel better.

      1. Yeah it’s lovely. Feeling better but I am still bunged up with mucus again. I say it’s since the end of summer I started comfort eating with chocolate and I have been eating it in college so the milk in that is blocking my sinus. So must cut out chocolate and other treats out again. 🙂

  3. Oh dear, poor you, although glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humour! Morse/Lewis and Midsomer Murders could easily be added to the list of back to back viewing:)

    1. Possibly due to the fact I’m on my days off I’m not under bombardment from the dreaded bugs, so by taking some meds I just might be heading this thing off at the pass – I just hope the germs aren’t regrouping to ambush me

  4. I’m still choosing the one on the left, but you nailed it! What a fun read first thing on Saturday morning. Since I retired as an Elementary Principal I have not been sick (knocking on wood at that). I always knew when I would be because I could see the absence charts and know when the most ‘germs’ were in the building. Don’t miss it…imagine that. Blessings to you and yours! Marie

    1. Thanks for calling by the cottage Marie, from now until February I will be bombarded with various germs due to ‘The Workplace’ it’s like a military campaign to stay one step ahead, I’m fighting the bugs with gusto, tea and a generous dollop of resolve 🙂 Hope you and yours have a great weekend

  5. I hope you’ll get well soon!! But now I have a problem…. the fact is that after have read your instructions I can’t take flu seriously anymore….

    1. I love Law and Order Criminal Intent, why I choose to watch cheesy TV when I’m not feeling 100% must be because I don’t have to focus on the plot 🙂

      1. They occupy the top of your mind, is what I think. Do you like Vera? We’ve just had our first series over here in Oz. New tricks or Midsomer will amuse me.

  6. Oh dear! I hope your weekend flu blitz paid off and you managed to beat the bug before it took hold! I definitely agree with your treatment plan, too, especially the murder mysteries 😀 Get well soon, Mrs P!

      1. Oh no! I hope you at least get to take a couple of sick days for your trouble, and that you’re feeling better soon! Bring on the Miss Marple and a giant pot of tea… You’ll be right as rain in no time 😃

      2. Back to work tomorrow, I didn’t need any time off work as I fitted my illness into my regular days off wouldn’t you know it 🙂

  7. You wrote this post just for me! But, I’m needing old re-runs of Agatha Christie movies, mindless but sufficiently interesting.
    How exciting! I finally turn to this post and discover… I’ve won the rabbit!! Yippee!!! just what a coughing, spluttering, sneezing, whinging woman wants. Seriously, what an unexpected delight. I shall treasure her and add her to my knitted Mrs Babar (was the elephant called Babar? ) and Henrietta Hippo- not knitted but very sweet. My explanation why I, a mature woman, might need these? I didn’t have a teddy bear or a stuffed toy when I was a child. Besides, there’s something very comforting when cuddling a stuffed or knitted toy.

    1. Your rabbit will be going into the post on Thursday, the post office near me has a half day on Wednesday and I’m at work so will miss the opening hours.
      I spent the morning watching the 1950’s film of the Titanic, after coughing most of the night, hope you feel better soon x

  8. Oh my poor dear….it’s that time of year again when the cure all intravenous needs to be plugged back in…..a certain cure all preventative I’m sure 🙂 Hope those Lurgies don’t all spring and pounce at the same time!!!!
    Many congrats to Kate!…I KNOW, she is a lucky, lucky lady to have your beautiful handmade creations to treasure 😀

    1. As quite a few germ are circulating at ‘The Workplace’ do you think swigging Juniper Cordial on breaks will be allowed if I state it’s preventative contributions to my health ??
      I got off really light considering.. just a slight cough – only at night to annoy Beloved you understand, and a day or three of feeling under par, back on form now so I can undertake the housework with my usual venom,

      1. So pleased to read that you are back on par and the dreaded lurgy didn’t get a firm grip this time! Though…??? it obviously left some slight side effect if it sent you reeling into an impromptu Autumnal cleaning session LOL 🙂

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