Kicking And Screaming

I here & now announce I am being dragged kicking & screaming towards a new dawn, it’s not that I don’t like change, it’s just that it seems technology has problem with me

Two statements here are untrue, I do own a tablet type thing ( although we aren’t talking at the moment) and yeah I do have wine ~ Boo I don’t actually drink the stuff

Anyhoo I decided why oh why  that I really ought to join the new millennium … (all be it a little late)  and now is the time to get down with the kids and buy a smartphone ~ so after chatting to a young boy in the phone shop …not sure if he was actually the assistant or not … but he sounded pretty knowledgeable, so I made my choice , now you will be pleased to know I have wasted  the WHOLE day trying to figure how the darn thing works !!!!!!! THEY DON’T EVEN GIVE YOU AN INSTRUCTION GUIDE ANYMORE !!! what’s that about ??? don’t they know how close I am to the edge ?? I’m practically sat on a cliff dangling my feet over the precipice

Just so you are aware it’s because of days like these that this is going to happen

You have been warned

Now I’m sat here wondering just when did I get old…. “Pass the cocoa Beloved & lets turn on the stereo radiogram I’m pretty sure the shipping forecast is on soon”



79 thoughts on “Kicking And Screaming

  1. Oh, you re not alone. I thought I ‘needed’ a Smartphone a couple of years ago, but I still just use it for phone calls, texts (if I really have to) and as an alarm! My friend was driving the other day and asked me to do something or other on her latest model iphone – I felt like Catweazle having been beamed up to the Enterprise and asked to take over from Captain Kirk!

    1. Hahahaha it’s funny because it’s true, said phone is now on the windowsill daring me to pick it up and try to do ANYTHING with it .. so it can snigger behind my back and call me a wuss

  2. When insanity grabs us, we are seemingly powerless to it’s desires!! I should say”Good on you though!!” for venturing into the new millennium, better late than never, with gusto ;-D!! WHAT?? No instruction booklet?! I think they must have cottoned on that no-one ever read or understood them, so, decided to ‘save the trees’ I think the next most practical step is to get a large supply of Kalms tablets, before you even decide to retrieve the phone from the window ledge….just ignore the sly winks it keeps giving you as you pass by trying to ignore it!!
    Remarkably, and very happily, I still own a broken faced, press button, no nonsense AND no function nokia from some time well within the last millennium ;-/ ~ I have been kicking and screaming against change and will continue to do so until the blessed thing has it’s last bleep of battery life LOL I reckon I would have more chance of being able to send an SOS from the etch-a-sketch!!

    1. One reason I have resorted to a smartphone ….are they called so due to the fact they are actually smarter than me ??? is because as from next week I’m on the on call rota at ‘The Workplace’ and I actually wanted a phone with a simple touch screen activation for if/when it rings at 2 in the morning …and gawd help that person who plucks up the courage to ring, as it would possibly quicker for them to drive to the cottage to get me by the time I’ve worked out how to answer the thing LOL
      I’m going to set to and craft a whole bunch of knitted, crocheted and sewn covers for the darn thing as a peace offering in the vain hope it thinks I actually like it and in return it will relent to my aimless button pushing and just let us have a ‘mutually rewarding relationship’ who am I trying to kid … I’m holding out for something that is never going to happen aren’t I ??

      1. You sound as proficient as I, when it comes to technology, and advancements in this witchcraftery age ….given the unlikely hope that you will have mastered it by then….maybe you could just take your rota at home in bed anyways with a request to call and collect??!! LOL
        Hmmm!!!??!!! reading between the lines….could it be, that you really have hatched a plan to develop a fab range of designer wear for the smart supermodel??? ;-D

      2. Ah where have the days gone when the only signs of modern life was having a hand pump fitted to the well ?? I’ve heard rumours that there is a new form of lighting going to be made available to the likes of us and the candle will be a thing of the past !!!!!!!!!! I don’t it will ever catch on do you ?

      3. ???…You have a hand pump for your well?? OMGoodness how on earth does that turn the rope to ‘up’ the bucket?? Should I be looking for a village upgrade, perhaps? Down south seems to be the innovators of all things modern!
        ….WHAT!! they are scrapping candles too ;-/??
        Sorry can’t talk just now …. need to go and harvest some wax and water supplies asap!!!

      4. Hahahaha I won’t be giving my candles any time soon let me tell you, oh by the way have been watching Victorian slum on BBC 2 ? gawd we don’t know we are born !!!

      5. LOL 😉 Keep a good stock of candles if all goes pair shaped in supply we might be able to crack the market in sales, having night round light to craft

        I have!..goodness that’s very true looking at how they had to live in such conditions ;-/ Though, I have also been admiring the scene artist’s paintwork techniques to recreate the mould and damp in the rooms too, looking forward to tomorrow’s episode 😉

      6. Candle shopping to commence LOL
        Did you see the photo of where in the doss house folks would lean on a piece of rope to sleep? which is where the phrase “So tired I could sleep on a washing line” comes from no doubt I was totally dumbstruck

      7. OMGoodness!! I did,and having only just watched the next episode, saw that the Irish guy spent the whole night there giving his pennies up so his sister could have the coffin bed..unbelievable hardships so many must have face in those days!

      8. I’m going to watch Mondays episode on the iplayer as I was at ‘The Workplace’ how on earth did they find the strength in Victorian times to carry on week after week struggling just to survive??

      9. Yikes!! Good job I didn’t mention more, not knowing you hadn’t watched it 😉
        In reality, we couldn’t possibly go back and attain what they did to survive! Sad, but true, their children obviously played a big part in being able to complete tasks to bring in money! Such a world away from today’s life for children!

      10. We do have a hand pump …but it’s for show only …on account it’s made of cardboard but from a distance it looks the real deal …to be fair the well is fake also ..we are still the in the ‘bucket to the pond’brigade

      11. LOL…sounds like the ‘prop’ makers have been down to ‘The Tangled Backwoods’ Still, it’s good to have ornate cardboard dotted here and there 😉 I hope on balmy Sunday evenings, you ditch the bucket and just jump in the pond for the weekly ablutions !

      12. Beloved dreams of holding a ‘Scarecrow Festival’ in the village to raise funds for the Memorial Hall, perhaps we could re-enact the ducking stool that way I get a weekly bath and raise cash BONUS 🙂

      13. What a wonderful idea to raise cash!! I hope Beloved gets his dream come true…it would be quite a sight to see all the village folk dressed as scarecrows and clean to boot LOL 🙂

      14. A sight to behold for sure 🙂 I just wonder how many bathing’s the pond could accommodate before becoming stagnant though….be sure to get to the front of the queue!!

      1. Not so much an oyster more of a lobster …family joke I don’t know it started but the world is my lobster seemed to stick for some reason LOL

    1. Now you come to mention it he was a little young …possibly 12 or so …but in my defence police officers & teachers look 12 as well ~ a sure sign I’m getting on LOL

  3. Would it be of any help to know that you are not the only one with the same problem? Well, yeah…. it’s my fault too…. I hadrly know how to use my smartphone but for the needs I have it is enough! So just keep trying and use the smartphone for what you need it!
    Oh,yeah, the sellers in the malls are too young! That’s the real truth!! They are too young! Too cute and too young…. *sigh*

    1. I think I’ll just keep on trying or maybe back down & ask Gelfling Grandson what to do, he’s 7 so he’s sure to know … possibly because he’s a phone salesman when he’s not at school LOL he’s about the right age 🙂

      1. 🙂 🙂 🙂 I do the same with my nephew who’s 6 and half…. almost the same as your Gelfing Grandson…. I do feel old indeed…

  4. hahahaha I know… I looked for an instruction via google, but there was nothing. then I called the hotline and they said there is a video guide on my tablet I can watch. yes… maybe… if I ever find a way to start it :o((((

    1. Same here the instructions are available on the phone via internet connection …only how do I get internet connection ??? the instructions on the web on how to get internet on said phone either A) assumed I already knew how to do this or B) didn’t know that I’m not actually a rocket scientist and need an idiots guide or C) don’t care

  5. P …. take it back to the store and ask them to give you a mini ‘teach in’ on the phone. Take a note pad and pen with you so that you can write down any key things which you might forget. This is exactly what I did with this gadget on my right, otherwise know as a ‘phone’ which is all I use it for – other than telling me the time and having alarms set on it to remind me to do injections.

    The guy in the shop was so sweet with me and didn’t raise his eyes to the ceiling or look bored. He actually wanted to help – he was so SO nice I wanted to adopt him in the end. Take it back P. and get help.
    ~ Cobs. x
    p.s… Small box on it’s way to you …. with your card nestled inside it, and a couple of other things to. One of them you won’t miss, the other you might if you don’t ‘feel’ for it. Just have a feel around to make sure you’ve found it before you throw the box out. ~ Love Cobs. x

    1. Top tip Cobs
      In my ‘normal’ day to day life I can appear quite / rather / sort of intelligent … oh alright I admit it ~ in my ‘normal’ life I can get through the day with out causing too much grief to myself or others, but give me a piece of technology and I loose all sense of proportion …I can’t string 2 words together in the right order – why ???
      I will make friends with this ‘thing’ if it kills me …or I will bury it in the garden and deny all knowledge of it’s existence !!
      PS Oooooo I’m soo excited about said package, it even has an added bonus of a couple of extra things ???
      You do realise I’ll be stalking poor Postie until it arrives, I wonder how many more sleeps till it comes ??
      I’ll start a countdown by treating myself to a thimble of gin per day to steady my nerves due to excitement ….now just where did I put the bottle …

      1. You know where the bottle is… it’s the thimble you should be looking for. lol

        Well… I lost out on getting to the post office yesterday when I hoped to (I was thinking that if I post it 1st class then it might, with a hope, get there Saturday and you’d be there to take it.) But it went today by 1st Class, and although it used to be that it would get there the following day – back in the times when we had a proud and upright Post Office who would move heaven and earth to stick to their part of the agreement if we’d bought a contract with them by investing in a 1st class postage stamp.

        But now … in these days of …. we might take it all the way there within a couple of weeks, even though it’s only a mile from your house – type of thing … I’m wishing it would get there tomorrow. Hoping that it get’s there by Monday. Wanting it to arrive no later that Tuesday. Will be hissed if it doesn’t get there Wednesday. Will take the receipt out of my purse and have it to hand by the phone if it doesn’t arrive by Thursday, and if it doesn’t come by lunch time Friday I’ll be on that bally phone making them very sorry for hissing me off.

        It does have an added bonus – 2 extra things, plus … well…. aw, you’ll see.

        While I’m here … I noticed a couple of days ago (or so) that you had a kind of widget in your side bar, saying Welcome to the Cottage. Well… it wasn’t clickable, so I’m hoping that it just refers to you and your blog, but do tell me if it’s meant to be for someone elses blog. Because ….

        I saved the little picture, then loaded it into my own widget bar, but added the text that it was for your blog – so that other people who visited my blog could click to see yours. (And also because I still can’t get your link in your name on comments to work – I think you may have got the wrong addy saved in that link – so I can simply click on that picture and it will take me directly to your home page of your blog!). Go to my blog and try it so that you can see what I mean.

        If this isn’t ok with you, then just tell me and I’ll take the widget out.
        HEAPS of love and squishes ~ Cobs. x

      2. I do hope the royal mail …is it still royal ? get their finger out and jolly well get to the cottage in double quick time before I have some sort of PTSD through excitement
        The widget ‘welcome to the cottage’ is just something I saw and well it was green & live on the green so thought it was rather apt, I wonder why the link on my name to won’t work ?? whats an addy ?? what day is it ?? perhaps I started on the gin too early

      3. Gin is for after six. Oh.. hang on… it IS after 6!!! I should have GIN TOO!!

        I’ve just asked Mr. Cobs if it’s still called Royal Mail… and even he’s not sure… I’ve just googled and it seems it is. I think.

        Addy … computer speak for ‘address’.
        Your ACTUAL blog address is:

        But if I click the link which is ‘attached’ to your name on any comments you make on my blog (or anyone elses) the address which comes up is:
        It isn’t the full address, so it fails to load.
        (computer web addresses are a bit like your or my snail mail address. If we forget to put the number of the house, or the name of the road then the letter could end up getting lost in the postal system. Same thing for website addresses.

        SEND ME GIN. … and diet tonic. Ice but no slice. ThanQ! ❤

      4. Hummmmmm you are the only one who has mentioned my Addey not being the full shilling, Hark at me Addey … a smartphone and hip lingo in two days !!!! what ever next ??
        Obviously I’d be sending you gin & diet tonic, one has ones figure to watch you know LOL

      5. You could watch my figure from there. Nooooo.. don’t do it. It will give you nightmares for days.

        Everybody is probably just being too polite to mention that they can’t click your name to be taken to your blog. I’d rather tell you, so that you get the chance to work out what’s gone wrong, and put it right so that you get your full quote of foot fall.(so to speak).

        You’ve got a great blog. I’d hate anyone to miss it.

      6. Yes … an old old copy of it. But it’s still working and helps me do what I want to do.
        I wondered if you wanted that cottage Welcome sign to include ‘The Cottage on the Green’ and the actual craft odyssey name of your blog. And that way you can ‘invite’ people to “grab my bog widget”if they want it, and it will say what you want it to say.
        Or not… as the case may be.
        It’s a five minute job and I could email it to you, and you could take a look and see what I mean. You don’t have to use it of course – I won’t cry or fret or be a misery guts. lol

        Back to photoshop … the latest edition is mighty expensive and I’m a bit put off because now it’s a download – so if your pooter goes belly up, then what happens to your Photoshop? Would they give it to you again? Or would they say it’s not their fault and walk away with your money in their pockets. Looking sideways as this new deal as I’m just not trusting of these types of companies.
        ~ Cobs.x

      7. I’ve received your wonderful updated cottage sign, but I’m having trouble loading on my blog ..which is strange I was able to put your happiness tag on straight off, perhaps I’ve frazzled my brain with trying to sort out the phone and studying on the same day !!
        I’m also a little perturbed by your quote … And that way you can ‘invite’ people to “grab my bog widget” people aren’t really going to call round my cottage and grab my toilet are they ….I know I have 2 but seriously we do use them both *laughing like a loon at this point*

      8. I did send it to you as a ‘jpg’ didn’t I?

        You think your widget is your loo? OHHH!!! I CALLED IT A – *BOG* – WIDGET?

        LOLOLOLOL. Well I’ll follow your bog if you follow mine.
        Ooo er Missus! lol.
        (laughing so hard, and in such a way that it’s hurting my throat … GASP!!! This is a plot! You’re trying to make me lose my voice so that I can’t ‘talk’ on your blog anymore!)
        coo… what a meany!

  6. Aaah, smartphones… Or maybe that should be make-me-look-dumb phones! I have one, a birthday gift from lovely Boyfriend last year, and any time it kicks off, I just hand it back to him so he can correct its unruly behaviour. I think your idea of appeasing it with a selection of knitted and crocheted couture is a good one, though… Surely if it’s fashionably dressed, it will cooperate? Good luck 😀

      1. I know! It’s so small, yet it behaves at least 4 times more badly than your average desktop computer… I’d say definitely get the lion tamer in before this hideous device causes you serious injury!

  7. YouTube and Google will be your friend for your new gadget. Anything you need to sort out, you should be able to find out there. And the videos will actually show you clearly. Well for the most part. 🙂

    1. Making headway …this morning though I did have to turn off the notification sound, after spending the first nigh with said phone by the bedside I realised how darn annoying the bleeping gets every time I get an e-mail or the like, at least I think I’ve turned the sound off ~ of course I’ve possibly wiped the whole network out with my random button pressing 🙂

  8. Having a good laugh! WITH you, not at you. I so understand. They don’t call these phones smartphones for nothing. They are definitely smarter than me, but I have found that they have great cameras and take great videos. Better than most any camera I have ever owned. And don’t eat the batteries! But, like most things now-a-days, you have to go online to get the manuals. Sometimes technology is a big pain in the-you-know-what!
    I was never any good with an etch-a-sketch anyway. Have a great week! 😀

    1. I have seen the craft odyssey beer site unfortunately I have no association ….if only *wistful sigh* I wish them every success in there venture …with a name like Craft Odyssey how could it fail 🙂

        I think we should buy some and have a girls night in, testing it.

        Actually … I don’t like beer. </emPerhaps we should get Mr.P and ol' Cobs Esq. together. We could have a night out instead then. lol

      2. Beer / larger is gawd awful how anyone can drink it is beyond me, anyways we is much more refined ….obviously I’m speaking for you LOL

  9. Yep, I’m with you on the lack-of-instructions thing. The new one (that I was forced to reluctantly spend a fortune on) still makes annoying notification noises and I have no idea what they’re for or how to turn them off. So now it is on silent all the time and no one can get hold of me because I don’t hear it ring. Not such a bad thing:)

  10. Haha 😂
    I’m only 28 and I am totally incapable of certain phone/computer/tech things. Luckily Mr Makeables knows lots about these things, because I would be screwed with out him

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